To: whoever who cares.

Where is it? Where does my final level take me? Is it some shitty apartment in uptown Tampa? Is it living in my parents apartment paying them rent from my 30K a year salary? Or does it take me to a nice apartment living in the heart of San Diego with my future wife driving a car to my job at a local scottrade helping people make money? From this seat, I really just dont know. Like, holy shit I need wards because I got nothing. Just the whole series of events starting from the January of 2010 has been so unfortunate in terms of the big picture. Its had its ups and downs, but its been a constant decline. The whole deal with Andrea, my ridiculously failing grades, my second life, the loss of my Celica, the switching majors, and last but not least, the final breakup, have all just left me a shattered pile of what used to be respectable, successful as fuck, and pretty damn good looking. Luckily some other people still kinda see that. When I look in the mirror, I see none of those. Instead, I see a pitiful excuse for a 20-year-old who can barely handle bad situations, and gets way too excited in good ones that it turns out bad anyway. I see someone who clings to the past because he longs for a time when he respected himself. I see someone who just hates who he's become and doesn't know what kind of chocolate to buy himself to try and apologize. I don't expect anyone to ever read this, nor do I want them to, but I just don't feel like burdening anyone else withe the story of my failure. Its also the only thing keeping me from just giving up altogether. After hearing for the 3rd time this year how I'm making my Mother want to stop living, I just cant stand to see myself because I see someone who has disappointed everyone who has counted on him. If I could just have one visit where everything is happy and no tears are shed, I would easily give my meals for a week for it. I just can't stand coming here, knowing what I know, and being too scared to tell anyone about it because of how disappointing it will be. I just want to prove myself to them. That's all I want to do well in school for. When I ask myself what I want to get out of school, I think of a job, a degree, a couple good friends, a couple more good memories, and just for my parents to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. Just for them to be happy. As for the future, all I can do is strap on my metaphorical helmet, reload my educational rifle, and just go drop some tests. Hopefully as soon as possible, I can get some guidance from my big brother and jonothon. Theyre a lot wiser than me, and they can handle adversity a lot stronger than myself. If theres anyone who I really can trust, its them. I would love to go and talk to someone closer to me, but alas, I have no one at the moment. I'm even apprehensive about telling Eric. I would love if he could transfer with me, but chances are incredibly slim. God I feel so much better now that I've actually said this to someone. Thank you, Internet. You will always be my best listener.

Love,
Rockt.

Update

Make that two rides home.

Fun night

So.... It started as a lighthearted pregame followed by some fun club dance music, and ended with a couple girls puking, too much spanish music, a frantic ride home, puke in my car, and a wasted five dollars.

love,
rocktfingas

Oh geez...

What a wonderful week its been so far...

First, an awesome weekend with much raging and embarassing photos on the internet, then one of my least liked holidays of the year....Valentines day.

Ugh what a tired, overdone, and marketed holiday February 14th is. For starters, every girl involved feels like their man should just drop everything and give them all of their attention, even though there might be some urgent business in their lives.. Secondly, its so expensive! Just unnecessary. I could go on, but I wont. Too much work. That brings me to Tuesday.

Tuesday was a fun day since I awoke toa girlfriend who had to go to class one hour before me, thus requiring a ride to said class. That resulted in me just passing out at various points throughout the day...which unfortunately kept me from studying for this super tough calc test all day. Which day comes after Tuesday?

Wednesday, hump day, middle of the week, overall s.o.b. Today was going to be a very productive day for me. Calc 3 exam, mans food tasting, wildlife issues assignment completetion, and chem quiz. Just every class all day. Im done with 50 percent of it, and the rest is to come.

Should be fun!
ROCKET

Wine is sweet,
Ice cream is sweeter,
Getting two 18 packs for free is sweetest of all.

Bored in class....

Hey guys! Its me again. Im just sitting here bored in class waiting for it all to end, so I decided to go ahead and throw up a new post. Basically, a good update for you would be that, since I didnt pass well enough, Im stuck in my calc 3 class. Yes, its upsetting.

Im done complaining, though, because I read an amazing post on 4chan, of all places. It was simply about 8 lines of text from someone who has hit rock bottom, but still loves his life since its a miracle that hes alive. Now dont get me wrong, but not only is that inspirational, but its always uplifting to see someone who is worse off than ourselves.

One other thing, Im going to start a new tradition for my goodbyes..

Taco bell is good,
Women are great,
Chemistry sucks,
and Edward Maya is amazing.

Love,
Rocket

Its been a little while.

Oh hey, whats up?

So aside from a few really fun, yet forgotten nights, my day to day is pretty normal. It began with just having way too much work to do with too little time, and it ended with me having the chance to not have calc 3 as a class anymore.

Turns out, according to the registrar, I did not receive a failing grade for my last attempt at calc 3....Too bad the grade I got WAS failing. So I go back and check with the wonderful people at the registrar, and they second this information. So what now? Well now its time for me to have my own little witch hunt and hopefully find the real status of my calc 3 grade, resulting in no math this semester. God knows I have no idea what to do with that empty spot in my schedule, but without calc, ill figure it out...I just really want this to work out.

Wish me luck,
RocketFingers

A little update.

Hey there! Heres some things Im going to gripe about today: teachers, breakups, and how complicated life gets sometimes. Ok first off, my calc teacher has turned out to be a little tricky. On normal days, he seems to be an elderly fellow who teaches math the same way he has for the past millenium. Problem is, on the inside, this diabolical Professor Farnsworth gives really convoluted tests which require lots of preparation. In other news, this breakup has finally reached its one week mark, and although were talking civilly, Im still tempted daily, nightly, and ever so rightly to call her up and get it on, which will inevitably result in a resurrected relationship which I do NOT want. Yes, this is the reason why facebook has an "its complicated" setting. Sometimes I long for the simple days of playing with my friends in the street, but no, instead, I have hard classes, no one to take them with, a VERY awkwardly sexual relationship with my VERY sexual ex, a clear cigarette addiction, a slowly diminishing alcohol addiction, and to top it off, a roommate with a huge emotional imbalance due to medication he does not need, and my parents are visiting tomorrow.

Having a wonderful week,
Johnny Rocketfingers

God I need to stop wearing flip flops in January!

Honestly, I do! Its such a terrible idea! Too bad my feet are getting used to not being felt. Oh well, there are pressing matters at hand. So heres the biggest news. Last friday, girlfriend. Oh yes, the dream is over. All I can think about though, is how hard it must be for her and how guilty I feel about hurting her. Its my first real breakup, so we both took it hard at first. She, by crying and running back home to Tampa, and me, by smoking a pack of cigarettes alone and pushing myself to get drunk at a party i didnt want to go to. Lets not even mention all the sappy love songs on the radio and the relationship related shows on tv.. Needless to say, its been shitty. Luckily, a day or two ago, i helped her out with something along the lines of finding her roommate which made her consider the idea of still being friends. Hopefully thatll work out. I didnt want to breakup at all, but I was forced to since things were getting serious for one of us, and heres a hint: it wasnt me. Lying to her and just agreeing with all the stuff she would say would just not be right, so I broke it off. I would love to see her around in the future, but just not for right now. Im only 19, for fucks sake. These are and will be the best years of my life, and I believe I should spend them working on my career, and not trying to keep my soulmate happy. That career part is hard enough, especially right now. I just really hope I made the right decision.

They say Im too nice for my own good,
Big John Rocket

Apparently its not hard to get to class on time.

So its 10 o clock, and right now im sitting on a bus headed for my two hour block of wildlife issues. Normally there wouldnt be anything odd about that, but in my case, whats special about it is that I actually got up on time. Hopefully this is a recurring occurrence. After all, im not sure my GPA can take another semester where I skip every class before noon. In other news, we just got an N64, which means i get to spend even more of my would-be booze money on a controller and a converter for my computer so I can play Spyro. Look out world, this kids got plans!

Love,
Rocket

Ooh this doesn't look fun!

So heres the situation. Looks like this semester, ill be taking chemistry, calculus 3, wildlife issues, and mans food. Rough, I know, but this is what i have to do to get my GPA back up. Its going to be tough, but if I wanna keep my address here in Gainesvegas, this is the gauntlet I must run.

Love,
Mr. Rocket.

Available in Gainesville by popular demand!

Looks like mr.Rocketfingers is back on the road to Gainesville for yet another semester of hijinks, mischief, love, sex, drugs, rock, roll, and some education here and there. Needless to say, it should be a trip. In the words of Vic Romano, LETS GET IT ON!

Love,
Johnny Rocket

So im trying out a new feature which will allow me to post from my cell
phone.. here goes nothing!

Looks like this blog is under new managment.

So its New Years Eve, and I decided its time to reinvent myself as a person just in time for 2011. The main theme of this patch for my personality's firmware is "classy". This change will not only be reflected in my day-to-day actions and thoughts, but also in the posts I put on here. I took a second to read through all of my earlier posts, and I realized even though I have matured a lot from when I was 15, I still need a lot more maturity if I want to succeed at anything form here on out. Sure I spent most of Christmas break looking at my computer screen, beating two games almost all the way through, but after all that, I really don't have anything to show for it. No one important is going to ask me about how many marksman headshots I got during my career as a Bad Company 2 sniper. No one important is going to ask me whether or not I got all of the armor in Assassins Creed 2. Especially, no one important is going to ask me if I was good at video games. Having realized this, a realization which was long overdue, might I add, I decided to focus on performance over aesthetics. I always cared about how I looked towards others and not how good my actual output was. That worked during high school when life was simple, but now that life is getting real, its about time I focused on the the actual performance, because even if you do look good doing what you do, no one cares in the IT world.

Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.

There's the main reason why I'm doing what I'm doing, and if you ask me, its about goddamn time.

Happy New Year,

RocktFingas

The first day of school...

Well, It's the day many hate, and few love. The first day of school. the beginning of another year of education. The genesis of a 10-month-long journey towards higher learning. A real pain in the neck. There is, however, a good side to this horrid date. A chance to improve your social life in real life, and on the internet. I, for example, am getting a good chance to post on forums, and this blog! Anyway, you look at it, school isn't fun, but it is a refreshing change. So, embrace it.

We've got a new name!

I guess the name "504th" was becoming overused in the world of Call of Duty, so now we have been forced to change our clan's name for many reasons. One of them is that we need to be apart from other clans. From now on, we are the 50th. And, I'm officially a Private. So, instead of 504th Rct.Johnson, I'm now 50thAPTC.Johnson. Yep, I've been promoted.

Its good to play together...

The other day I was just playing Call of Duty Online when owning n00bs who couldn't shoot a rifle straight, just didn't seem as fun. I just thought, "Wouldn't it be cool if I actually had a real purpose for my sniping. Not just randomly killing enemies, but actually helping a teammates accomplish something." So, I wrapped up the round and looked into the clan recruiting section of the FileFront forums, and found the 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment. I applied, and they accepted me as a new recruit. Sometime in the near future, I will be promoted to the position of Private, but first, I must finish training. So, for now, I go by two names: 5c0rch, and {504th}Rct.Johnson.

Its Independence Day....

Happy 4th of July!!!!

Its the one day out of the year when all of us in the U.S.A. Think of what makes us truly free. Those brave soldiers in the late 1700s, or maybe the guys in the Mid-1940s running up those beaches with a lot to lose, but much more to gain. Quite simply, Its all of them. Whether you charged into Bunker Hill, the hedgerows of France, the deepest regions of Vietnam, or even Baghdad with the thought of America's safety in mind, you are deserving of recognition. Even if it is on a day tainted with biased politics and department store clearance sales.

In the words of this blogger, just settle down with your family or friends and watch the fireworks on this Fourth of July and be thankful that you can celebrate being free.

Life is hard...

Here's a poem: Yes, I know It's not professional, but its the best I could do.


UNTITLED

You know, sometimes life is a real pain in the neck.
Listen, my children, for you will hear,
Of the tale of 5c0rch, the freelanceer.
You know, He's a sniper, so hit the deck!

It all began in the glorious month of May,
I was ecstatic, for I had been freed,
From the chains of homework and education, indeed.
I am speaking of school, the place that devours my day.

I was enjoying my break and life was good,
Until I was put in the workforce.
My job? Cleaning the pool at the club, of course.
Too bad I wasn't being paid as I should.

The fateful day when my eyes were opened,
Was the day when I put down my skimmer and broom,
For cleaning this pool was like cleaning a tomb!
So I quit, by not working, not a cent earned, not even a token.

Now it's late June and I live in fear,
Because I know not if my internet will work,
Man, my router's being a jerk.
I dream about FiOS being near and dear.

All this, my child, in a single week,
I do not understand how I can remain,
Sane in this crazy week, taxing my brain.
However, I hope the future is not so bleak.

For this sharpshooter needs some fun,
A good server to play on,
Some n00bs to own.
Just give me some digital bullets and a coded gun.

This is the story of 5c0rch's dilemma,
A story of good fortune gone bad.
Life is much worse than what I had.
Can't think of anything to rhyme, so..........Emma.

THE END

By 5c0rch

Sequel to the Buddy Icons post...

Well, I guess there is another alternative to buddy icons, you could just use a forum and signature combo. Instead of IMing, just post on online forums and use a personal signature. Here is mine for an example:


If youre too artistically impaired to make one of your own, (like me), ask a friend or someone who specializes in graphics on the forum to make you one. that's what I did and now I have an awesome form of expression no thanks to killtodeath, or course.

There goes Halo 3....

Its exactly what Bungie feared, Halo 3's ending has been posted on the internet by someone other than bungie.org. If you don't believe me, go to the following link right to proof. http://halo3ending.ytmnd.com/

Gamers are terrible at conversation.

We've all heard the words. We all know how it goes. OMG!!!, LOL!, stfu!. Sure it makes sense to use these in a fast paced game, but the moment people use these acronyms in RL(real life), the whole meaning of human conversation itself begins to change and degrade. The other day, a friend of mine walks up to me and says, "LOL! LOL! LOL! I just saw the funniest thing! At first I was like, OMG!!! then I was ROFLMFAO!!!" He then just walked away. For a moment I just stood there, trying to translate what he meant. After a while, I just gave up. That just leads me to why I made this post. Some gamers need help with their social skills. As for the rest of us, we just stand there and laugh when they try to speak.

Buddy Icons are a pain.

The more times I see them, the more I get annoyed. Buddy Icons can be funny, cool, pointless, or a way to express yourself while IM-ing. In case you've lived in a cave or have been sleeping for the past few years, IM-ing means Instant Messenging. Now that that's out of the way, let's get to exactly why Icons are a pain to install. When you have one working, they usually are great, but if only Instant Messenging services let you UPLOAD your pics to their systems, that would make some lives easier.

For example, say I have an AIM icon on my computer at home. When I go to a friend's house, and I log on to AIM, I don't have an Icon. Why, you ask? Simple. I don;t have the icon on my friend's computer. On the other hand, if one could upload a file to the AIM along with the Buddy List, I would have my Icon anywhere I go. I know its a minor problem, but i felt it was important. By the way, Here's my icon:

Epic's got a trump card!

|UnreaL|
|TournamenT|
|2007|
----------------
|GearS|
|of|
|WaR|
----------------
|UnreaL|
|EnginE|
|3|
---------------

All three are products of Epic Games, A small developing company whose products rival Bungie's Halo series. Although Epic is slightly smaller than many other game development franchises, such as Infinity Ward and Gearbox, it still shows results to stand a fighting chance.

First, the Unreal series. Unreal Tournament all began with the original, and picked up with UT 2k3. With it, the second installment in the series brought a complte visual makeover. About a year later, Epic released UT2k4 with new vehicular addition which filled Unreal-a-holics with splattering glee. Now to the Present: Its been a couple years since Epic released its award-winning, fast paced, shells-on-wheels offering. This period of time has left many Unreal Tournament fans hungry and waiting. Early demos of UT 2k7 show another major graphic upgrade along with miscellaneous gameplay addition. That makes Unreal Tournament 2007 a very anticipated title. Hopefuly Epic can meet the hype.

Secondly, Gears of War shows a lot of promise as Epic's first attempt as a next-gen zombie shooter. It paints a picture of an Earth of the future. This would be an overused plot, except that people on Earth are suffering a type of genocide inflicted by a highly organized undead military. That leaves it up to a group of human soldiers to fight back amongst the rubble and ruin of an age past. Utilizing the new Unreal Engine 3, it allows for more detailed environments, weapons, people, and most importantly, more ferocious, terrifying, and realistic enemies. Unfortunately, however, GoW's makers have not shown much about the game. For shame.

Lastly, The Unreal Engine 3 is a very hot item for many development companies. Some of which: Atari, THQ, Gearbox, and many other A-list game publishers. It has proven that it can handle a whole new level of detail when it comes to gameplay and graphics. Did I mention it has PS3 support? Not only that, but it can also handle, with visually pleasing results, a Physx processor. That ability alone, is a major way to beef up a game's potential. Thanks to Ageia, of course.

Epic has a lot on its plate, but in this gamer's opinion, I'm certain they can handle it.

The side effects of a good time....

You usually rant and rave about stuff you hate, right? Well, I always rave(with ecstatic excitement) about Call of Duty Online, but now its my turn to rant about joining a tough server.

The idea, or Golden Rule of Online Gaming, is to find a server you like, and do well in, and attend that one regularly. You could even make some friends if you'd like. The only tough part is finding one. That brings me to the purpose of this post.

I was just looking for another server to play on just in case I wanted to make lunch out of some unfortunate piece of newbie cannon fodder using more than just rifles. That was my first mistake. I had already found my strong-point and a server to cater to it, but I wanted more. I just broke the Golden Rule. Putting that aside, I joined, and found out quite quickly that the guys in the place were on a different standard. In a nutshell, I didnt get a shot off. The only kill I got was achieved with a grenade, after death, of course. Clearly, these guys were spawn killing.

When I finally disconnected, I felt disheartened. I just remember thinking, I thought I was good at this game. Sure I was having fun on the good ol' sniper server, but my attempt to gain SMG glory had failed miserably. I can only hope that my emotionally distressing online calamity can prevent another from suffering such a fate.

Now that I'm done complaining about losing, I can talk about how I'm a force to be reckoned with on the rifle servers. However, a Brag-fest like that would take another full post, so I'll take a raincheck.

*Golden Rule of Online Gaming-Not a completely accepted truth. More like a sad excuse for my lack of SMG skill.

Dang futuristic machines!!

Online gamers will agree, the less ping the better. If you have low ping, you have low lag. Its a simple concept. Anyway, Verizon's FiOS is their technology of the FUTURE. It harnesses the power of light and uses it through fiber optic cables, to provide you with literally lightning fast internet access. Verizon Normal DSL playing Call of Duty on an average server gives me 40-60 ping. On the other hand, Verizon FiOS offers 20-40 ping. That's, on average, 50% less lag than normal DSL. By the way, super-fast browsing isn't bad either. In conclusion, I give FiOS two very painfully cramped trigger fingers up.

Gamers rejoice!!!!

Well, E3 has come and gone. Although most, if not all of us could not attend in person, we still got in on the action. No thanks to one of my friends, gametrailers.com. Even though going there would have been awesome, avoiding the BO of most of the nerdiest attendees is a godsend in itself. With it, E3 has brought glimpses of many new games and future goodies for us to get our greedy little hands on. Such as, the PS3, Windows Vista, and, God forbid we mention Nintendo's offering, the Wii. I don't think I need to mention how incredibly stupid that sounds. But, I'll say it anyway-
"Hey Guys, Let's go play on my Wii!"
"Your what!?!?!?!?!?!"
"My Wii."
"Hey man, we don't go that way."
"I meant my Nintendo Wii game console."
"Oh....well. We still think its crap." They would then leave him for someone cooler with a PS3 and the "wii" child would have no friends(No scottish pun intended). All beacuse its nintendo's fault. isn't that sad? Isn't it?!!!

Wii or no Wii, Watching previews for Medal of Honor Airborne, Halo 3, Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway, and UT2k7 from E3 0wn3d doing endless math homework anyday. The only other sad part is now we must all recover from our sleep deprivation and get back to our normal lives....and wait for E3 2007!

Well, I'm off track already.

Our local swim team happens to have a trip to Georgia this week. Im not going due to a certain chronic disease called Slacker's syndrome. Nonetheless, a lot of the guys are going, so don't expect much more news about the swim team for a week or so.

The maiden thread!

Well, here it is. the first one. dont expect much. But do check back for more news in the world of software and hardware and other miscellaneous stuff.